Melanie was hopping along the lush green grass, and the sun beated down on her. She and her two friends, Poppy and Zia, are climbing trees in the hot spring’s sun. Suddenly, clouds start looming in. “Oh no!” Poppy gasps. “The sunshine is disappearing,” Zia exclaims. “Don’t just stand there, lets get inside!” Melanie shouts over the strong wind. Just then, Poppy trips on a chocolate bunny! The clouds disappear, and the sun arrives once again. Must be a magic bunny! Zia thinks. The chocolate rabbit melted in the sun, the chocolate oozing onto the grassy bank. Melanie, Poppy and Zia run along home, forgetting the rabbit.
Eve G
What a great story Eve. I love some of your vocabulary such as 'looming' and 'oozing'. Your punctuation is super too. It's strange how the chocolate rabbit seems to be having an effect on the weather.
ReplyDeleteJust make sure you decide whether you are writing in the past or the present tense so they aren't mixed up.
I love your story otherwise. Keep up the great work!
Mrs Prior (Team 100WC)
www.mapleclassgreenfields.blogspot.com
eve i love yours good your adjectives stand out c u later :) Shauna peace!
ReplyDeleteWow, it was an incredibaly sudden rain storm. How did Zia know about the choclate rabbits? She must of been really clever. Mabye you should focus completely on the weather next time, your so good at it! Please visit our blog at ashclassgreenfields@blogspot.com
ReplyDelete